So it has a been a few years since the death of my brother...and I've been told that the heart heals over time. However, I don't think that the heart really ever recovers. I think all time allows is room for you to forget, in which it makes it easier to deal with. And I don't mean forget the person completely, but just certain things that at first are right there...in eyes view. For example, just the other day I couldn't remember how old he was...or the date he past away. It scared me. I never want to forget. It still hurts so bad. I never ever talk about him to anyone, and most people that I've met within the last 2 years don't even know he ever existed. When people ask me if I have any siblings, I tell them no. I will do anything to avoid talking about him. My close friends and I will talk every once in awhile about him...but I keep it real short. On occasion my parents will want to talk to me about him...but I can't even come close to open up in any way. Especially with my mother,must be a mom thing because I can't even look at my mother when she talks about him,it just makes me too weak. It's almost as if I want to push the pain away and that's why I avoid anything and everything regarding him. I miss him so much...

As I rush out the door for work...I can't help but wonder if someone out there hates their job more than me! I hate my JOB. I'm interested in YOUR JOB and why you hate it. Let's compare notes.